Its been 5 years since you passed, and today is Mother’s Day. You used to tell me that “every day is Mother’s Day” and you are right. Every day I think of you, I miss you and I feel you around me, not only inside my heart but in everything I do.
Today I flew the Flags as it is customary to do so. It is Sunday and people no doubt are getting ready to take their Mom’s to brunch or to give them a call, or if they are far away have sent flowers or a card that their Mom would receive the day before. I remember that one day I will see you again as I once did in 2017 when you appeared in my bedroom in Hawaii, you lit up the room and appeared to be about 30 years old. At first I thought I was dreaming but I was awake and it was about 3AM. You smiled at me, and left me as quickly as you came. I cried and at the same time was filled with joy.
Left in the pitch black of my room I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and fumbled for my house slippers in the darkness. I got up and just walked around the house, but you weren’t there. I stayed up most of the rest of the night and at dawn I finally fell asleep. At last I felt at peace, it was ok to touch your things, to go into your room.
I hadn’t seen your face or been able to picture you for almost 3 years. I presume it was my minds defense mechanisms protecting me from the sorrow of your passing. You know I cried, and you knew everything and came to let me know it was all ok. I shared my experience with my daughter and a few loved ones who I knew wouldn’t think I was hallucinating or having a dream. For I was fully awake, fully aware, and finally at peace.
Your ashes rest in the living room of my home as they did when I was in Hawaii. But that is not where you are. You are everywhere, you are perfect, and you are home.
I love you so much Mom. There are no words to describe how much I miss you. You came to let me know, you are watching me, you love me and that you are ok. Every day is Mother’s Day… every day…,